Monday, October 5, 2009

Vikings-Packers live blog

In honor of the MOST IMPORTANT GAME EVER PLAYED EVER, I decided to do a live blog of the Vikings-Packers game, openly copying the Sports Guy, to whom I offer my sincerest apologies. Without further ado:

First Quarter
8 minutes to kickoff: I’m glad the Twins have been doing so well, and not just because that it means their season is still alive. Their hot streak has meant I haven’t really been paying attention to all the Favre-Packers hoopla. I’m going into this game relatively fresh. I’m actually kind of glad about that. Unofficial predictions that nobody will believe after the fact if they end up being right: Peterson gets more yards than Favre, Rodgers throws for 300 yards, Vikings win by 7, say 31-24.

3 minutes to kickoff: Drinking game possibility: drink every time the announcers say “Brett Favre” instead of just Favre. You would pass out by the third quarter, I guarantee.

1 minute to kickoff: It is sad that Favre’s dad died in 2003, but that night was the beginning of the great Favre Suck-off. Announcers have been fawning over him ever since.

Kickoff: Rodgers has as many starts as T-Jack? Really? So when, exactly, will T-Jack “get it?” Oh yah, that’s right, never.

12:15: An early test of Chilly’s ability to adapt: Figure out how to stop these screens. Wait… that’s Frazier’s job, isn’t it. Dammit.

9:22: FUMBLE! And how did Rodgers look so confused on that play? He suddenly had that deer-in-headlights look to him. At the perfect time, too.

5:12: Should I be worried that I haven’t heard anything from Harvin yet? Or have I just not been paying attention?

4:59: Even if this 4th down fails, I like the call of going for it.

4:40: Especially if you have Peterson. Courage!!!

3:20: I wish everybody could have heard the noise my wife made making fun of Favre’s touchdown celebration. Much humor. Also, nice drive there.

2:16: Antoine Winfield just set an example of why you shouldn’t look into the backfield as a cornerback. It leads to 67 yard touchdowns.

2:06: I’m glad it’s not just me – Favre looks like he’s wearing a kids’ Vikings jersey. It has to do with how much space there is on his shoulder pads. My wife agrees with this assessment.

1:06: Sorry, Jon Gruden. That incompletion to Taylor had nothing to do with rustiness. He was standing still, 10 yards downfield, and Favre just missed him. Terrible pass.

:57: The wife just decided that Ted Thompson looks like a poodle.

Second Quarter
14:54: Wow. That was a big hit. Yet another reason why I don’t play football, to add to the fact that I am 1) lazy and 2) unathletic.

13:23: Packers going for it, too. I repeat, I LOVE coaches going for it on 4th. Says you have faith in your team. Also … REVIEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12:20: Of course Childress couldn’t challenge in time. He is so goddamn incompetent sometimes.

11:42: Winfield makes up for the touchdown with a nice interception. Then we see a GoDaddy.com commercial, making me momentarily think that the Vikings are in the Super Bowl. I become happy. Then I realize they’re not, in fact, in the Super Bowl. I become sad. It’s like crack.

5:10: Really, this whole “Brett Favre” thing is annoying. Just say his damn last name, like “Favre to Rice… touchdown!” Nice throw, by the way.

4:54: First appearance of the Favre Sears commercial. I predict we’ll see it 27 more times during this game.

4:54: Never a good sign when a guy is injured without getting hit. Even though he’s a Packer, I feel for him.

3:18: That was a really good play, stripping Peterson for a touchdown. I hate when players get punished for extra effort, but Peterson doesn’t get stripped there if he’s easier to tackle.

1:13: Harvin is so exciting. How did the Vikings get Peterson and Harvin within three years of each other? Guess it shows anybody can see obvious talent.

:38: NO! Please let that be a hold….. YES!!!!! Bailed out by the refs! Unless it was the correct call, which it probably was.

:25: Did Wilf secretly pay off the refs? I can’t remember the Vikings ever having a penalty-free half, yet it’s happening here. On the other hand, the Packers have had at least 4 key ones.

Halftime: The Vikings are up by 7, but somehow it feels like they should be up by more. The Packers scores were a direct result of Vikings turnovers, yet they had more yards (I think). Fairly entertaining. And despite the fact that it’s close, I’m not worried. And I’m worried that I’m not worried. I mean, it’s the Vikings. Aren’t I supposed to be nervous? A Harvin kickoff return TD here would make me even less nervous.

Third Quarter

15:00: Taking a knee = not exciting.

14:56: Guess Zygi’s check bounced.

12:00: 17 first downs to 6. Guess it was more lopsided than I thought.

11:11: It must be nice to play quarterback when you have 7 seconds to throw.

10:40: Welcome to the 2009 season, Bernard Berrian! Glad your hands could join us this year.

10:32: Another Packers penalty. I can already hear the complaints from Packer fans.

10:00: OK, who replaced the Packers with a Division II team? They look completely confused right now. I know it’s disorienting that Favre’s in purple, but come on.

5:21: I accept any time Rodgers sits in the pocket picking his ass while defenders bear down on him. Also, it’s hard to write “Rodgers” since I grew up in Rogers. I think I’ll skip the D from now on.

3:55: I was excited about that goal-line break there for a second, until I saw the replay. The Vikings can’t be that lucky for that long.

2:18: Another 4th down try. Love it. Coaches everywhere should take a look at this game for examples of why it’s not always correct to punt or kick. Challenge your team to win the game. Let’s go goal-line defense!

0:00: That was a great quarter, especially with the goal-line stand. I feel no stress during this game. Again, a rarity for Vikings-Packers games.

Fourth Quarter
14:06: I’m convinced the Packers defense doesn’t care. There’s no way Favre is still this good. Unless they think he still plays for them and are letting up ‘cause they think it’s practice.

13:39: Gotta love those reverse flea-flicker wide receiver passes that go incomplete. They’re probably my third-favorite type of plays.

12:51: When you launch your first punt of the game in the fourth quarter, you’re doing something right.

11:28: The Packers response to the Vikings’ reverse flea-flicker wide receiver pass: the ol’ high school staple of the quarterback pretending to be confused while the snap goes to the running back. They seem desperate now.

9:15: Seriously, has Favre ever done anything wrong? Like, ever? This is getting really old.

8:21: You don’t often see a safety on a completed pass. That was close.

7:21: I like Jared Allen. And I’m sure I would hate him if I cheered for any team. Also, on this replay, the Packers are going to turn a Vikings fumble recovery into a safety. I guess, though, that 2 points are better than 3 or 6. It’s kind of a smart play.

7:21: I just realized that means Chris Warcraft was directly responsible for 2 points! It doesn’t in any way make up for the 6 return touchdowns he’s been a part of, but it’s still funny.

7:06: I don’t like how often these announcers are saying “Vikings” and “Super Bowl” in the same phrase. Knock on wood! Knock on Wood!

6:44: Did you know that Favre has a passion for the game? I didn’t. Why haven’t announcers said this before?

4:59: Chris Warcraft for the Pro Bowl! BOOK IT!

3:40: And here’s where the typical Vikings-Packers tension hits. These teams can’t play a typical blowout, can they. At least the Packers O-Line forgot to block on the 2-point conversion. Can you see a theme?

3:35: Gee, might Peterson get the ball here? You’d think a play-action would be in order. I think you can trust Favre to make a smart decision.

3:27: Jon Gruden just blew my mind. Three years with the same head coach, o-coordinator, and d-coordinator is the longest in the NFL? Really?

3:10: Jordy was surprised to actually get the chance to catch the punt. Hence it hitting the ground.

1:19: Allen is scary, scary good. And scary.

:55: I can’t believe after all this, this is a 7-point game. Which, by the way, I predicted. (See top, “Unofficial predictions that nobody will believe after the fact if they end up being right”)

:54: Can you be named Special Teams Player of the Week for recovering two onside kicks? If so, go Sidney Rice!

:00: Stay tuned for live comments from Brett Favre? Uh, no. But I always love when the Vikings beat the Packers. Makes my week. I’m happy now until November 1. Happy days.

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